Love is our mother
by darveycanon206
Summary: Set in 9x09. Their last goodbyes to Lily Specter.


To one of my favorite Suits characters.

My tribute to Lily Specter. I hope I did her and everyone justice.

I'm very much attached to this fic so please, let me know your thoughts about it!

Best beta-reader and supporter award goes to Marie (darveycaptain). I'd be lost without you.

(I don't own Suits or any of its characters)

_**Love is our mother**_

Breaking the news for the first time was one of the hardest things she'd ever done, and her heart shuttered when she realized she was about to bury him with that amount of pain once again.

At least this time she could hold him. So tight that she could feel his whole body shaking.

They didn't sleep that night, they just moved the embrace from the living room to the bed, knowing that from now on they had only each other left to lean on.

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The next morning, she was choosing the best fit between her black dresses when she heard him behind her.

"Can you please wear that one for me?" He didn't even have to show her which one he was referring to, she just knew.

She nodded and disappeared into the bathroom to get ready. Ten minutes later she made her way out, wearing that black dress, tight and with three-quarter sleeves that had bows on them.

She knew exactly why he wanted her to wear that one. The day she had it on last was the day that changed everything for them, even if back then they both had been too dumb to acknowledge it.

"Thank you, Donna. You look beautiful" he said to her, with teary eyes.

That sight alone broke her heart. How was she supposed to keep it all together at the funeral? She didn't have an answer to that, but she knew she had to do it for him. She needed to be his anchor once again, he deserved that.

She reached out to him and grabbed his arm "Are you ready?" she asked.

As if he could ever be.

"Will you stand by me?" he looked straight in her hazel eyes

"Yes" she reassured him

"Then I am ready".

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It was early afternoon when they arrived at the graveyard. The trip to Boston had been quiet but also exactly what he needed. They listened to Gordon's records as she kept her hand intertwined with his the whole time.

As soon as they stepped out of the light blue mustang, she spotted Marcus. He was talking to some people she didn't recognize, probably Lily's friends. Katie and the kids were right by him, comforting him during this difficult time.

It was the first time she met the man in person, they had only shared some phone calls through the years because, as she had told Harvey once, when Marcus really needed his brother, he called her first.

He saw them and ran to them straight away to hug his brother. Witnessing that moment made her even more sure that Marcus knew just how much Harvey was suffering.

"Hi Donna, it's great to finally meet you. I just wish it happened under better circumstances" he greeted her, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.

"So do I. But I'm glad I finally got the chance to meet the other Specter" she smiled back at him.

In the meantime, while he was looking around, Harvey spotted a face that he could never not recognize. They might have fought the last time they met but seeing him again made his heart full and he had no doubt who he had to be grateful to for that.

He immediately turned his face to Donna, thanking her with his eyes. She gave him a small nod, suggesting that he go to him.

Of course she had called Mike. That was the first thing she did after Marcus broke her the news. No matter how badly they had left things and the fact that she was going to be there for him every step of the way, she knew Harvey needed his best friend by his side during this tough time. And she was sure Mike would understand. After all, he's been there, he was the perfect man to help her boyfriend deal with his loss.

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As soon as Mike noticed Harvey looking at him, he excused himself and started walking towards him.

They didn't need any words. They didn't hug much during their time working together, but the times they did, they were no doubt heartfelt moments.

"I am so sorry Harvey" Mike spoke first

"Thank you, Mike, seriously. You didn't have to make it all the way down here from Seattle for this"

"Are you kidding me? I stepped on a plane the second Donna told me. I would never have left you alone in this Harvey"

"I guess Butch and Sundance have to deal with bitter situations too, huh?" he tried to joke, still with a sad smile forming on his face

"Well, unfortunately, life is sometimes also like this" his former associate replied, citing what once was his most powerful motto "Now, it's time to go".

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They were all there. Louis and a very pregnant Sheila, Alex, Katrina and Samantha, who was surprisingly comforting the younger blonde who was already shedding some tears. Mike, who couldn't bring Rachel along because she's been sick for the past few days - probably because of food poisoning - and was prescribed bed rest only. And, of course, Donna, his everything.

As soon as they were all gathered around Lily's coffin, it was time for Harvey's speech.

Donna could only imagine how hard it would be for him to make that speech, but she knew he had to do it, he needed to do it for himself and for his mother.

He cleared his throat. He was still shaking "Thank you all for being here. I thought so much about what to say in this particular moment and I've even written down a few words but then I figured out I'd just let my heart speak for me.

I can't say that I've always had the happiest relationship with my mom. We were at odds with each other for so long and I even messed things up with her at our father's funeral" he was now looking at Marcus "I didn't want her to speak that day because I didn't find it fair back then… I don't want to go into detail today, because I'm here to honor the amazing woman that my mother was, but I'll just say that day was extremely bitter for me. But then, she started speaking and no matter how many stones I had in my gut, she'd been able to get to me.

Even if deep down I had already realized it back then, I wasn't willing to admit that she's always loved our dad, because I was a different man, I used to hide my feelings so well…".

Tears were forming in his beautiful brown eyes.

"After that, I haven't spoken with Lily for seven years. I bottled up my rage and I moved on with my life, acting like I didn't have a family here.

I was once told that this family, my family, worked better without me. And If I had the chance to speak to the man I used to be, I would tell him the same thing. I missed my brother getting sick again because I was too much of a coward to swallow my pride and face my emotions. But luckily, sometimes life puts people in your path that I'm convinced are angels born without wings. I've had the most special and beautiful one in mine for the last fifteen years "

Donna couldn't hold back her tears anymore.

"She convinced me to make things right with my mother and I have her to thank for the time I got to spend with Lily, the joyful memories I had the chance to build… I last spoke with my mom a couple of days ago on the phone, and I realized how much time I've thrown in the window. I let bad memories cloud my mind and I didn't give my family and I the chance to enjoy new ones. But Lily reassured me that she's always loved me, even all those years when we hadn't kept in touch, when I forgot I even had a mother… She's always been there for me, because that's who Lily Specter was, an outstanding woman and an even more caring mother" he started feeling a knot forming down his throat

"I still remember the words she said about my father at his funeral "We achieved something together that neither one of us could have done on our own. Our sons, Harvey and Marcus… Gordon was proud of a lot of things in his life but none of it compared to how proud he was of them… no matter where he is, I know he's watching over them right now"

Well mom, I'd like to think that right now, wherever you are, you are both watching over me and Marcus, together. I love you". Rivers of tears were streaming down his jawline by now.

She was stunned by his words. She had only been lucky to meet Lily once before she passed away. They shared a quick breakfast while she was in New York for a gallery opening. But they got along from the first second. And from that morning, Donna would call her once in a while, just to hear how she was doing and talk about everything their Harvey tried to pull off.

She was truly going to miss the woman with her whole heart.

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Once he wrapped up his speech, he reached for something inside the pocket of his jacket and placed the item gently on his mother's casket.

It took Donna just a quick glance to figure out what that tiny object was. A miniature of the picture that'd been hanging on his office's wall for almost two years now, one of the happiest memories of his childhood, with his Lily.

There was a quote on the margin of it though. "Thank you for letting me believe in "together forever" again".

Her heart ached for a moment. She knew he'd changed through the years, but his personal growth left her speechless once again.

As soon as he started walking towards her, she welcomed him with her arms wide open. She grabbed his arm and put her chin on his shoulder. They stood still watching Lily Specter being put into the ground forever as they had stood still three nights before in front of the painting that was responsible for bringing Harvey and his mother back together in the first place.

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Once the ceremony was over, they all moved to Lily and Bobby's house for the reception.

Harvey was receiving condolences from his cousin when he heard Bobby behind him.

"You gave a very touching speech out there Harvey" the man was clearly hurting deeply but he managed to give Harvey a smile. They had patched things up right after he made it right with his mother and they've been on good terms ever since.

"Thank you, Bobby. I can't say it was easy, but she deserved everything I said and even more"

"She was so proud of you, you know? She told me you'd found "the one"… I assume it's Donna"

"She is. I truly love her" Harvey replied as both of them turned to look at his beautiful girlfriend.

She was approaching the strawberry pie. If only his dad could have seen her, he would have loved her even more than he already did.

"I'm happy for you" the man gave Harvey a pat on his shoulder "You know you'll always be her Harvey, right?"

"I know. And Bobby, she will always love you, no matter where she is"

Never in a million years he would have thought he could say those words out loud, but they just felt right in that moment.

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It had been two days since they got back from Boston. Harvey took a few days off from work in order to properly deal with his loss. Donna wanted to stay home with him, but he insisted she needed to get out there and keep kicking ass like only Donna Paulsen could do.

She got ready for work, put on a dark blue sleeveless dress and went into the kitchen to drink her cup of coffee… well their cup of coffee since they were used to sharing the same one every morning.

"Hey" he greeted her with a soft peck on her lips

"Hi mister" she smirked at him "Promise me one thing, today you will take some rest and then eagerly wait for me to come home from the firm" she teased

"I can do that" he teased back "But, is there something you know that I don't?"

"There is always something I know that you don't" she laughed mocking him and stroking his shoulders in the meantime

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He heard his door opening at 5pm and that's when he spotted her coming inside with a straw hat on.

"Did you go to the Bahamas without telling me? He joked while grabbing her thin waist

"Nope" she replied stressing the "p" "But I'm taking you to your Hamptons house this weekend"

"Donna, that's very sweet of you, but I have tons of work to …" she stopped him right there "uh uh Specter, I don't want to hear any of your buts. We're going to take this trip, you don't really have a say in that.

I want this weekend to be just for us… the three of us" she blurted out too fast

"Wait, let me get this straight. You waltz in here, rubbing a steamy and romantic Hamptons weekend in my face just to tell me you invited the puppy too?!" he was a bit disappointed by the news

"God, could you be any more clueless?" she rolled her eyes "I know we joked for years about Mike being our kid but that's definitely not the case" a soft laugh escaped her glossy lips

"What are you talking about?" he was getting worried because he didn't know where she was going with this

"At your mother's reception, I felt sick after eating the strawberry pie. And that never happened to me before, you know how much I love it… That got me thinking and I suddenly realized I had been three weeks late, with all the chaos we've been dealing with lately, I haven't noticed that before" his expression changed as he was finally figuring out what she was trying to say "I stormed out of here so quickly this morning because I had a doctor's appointment… Turns out I am about four weeks along…"

She waited for him to say something.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yes Harvey… I am pregnant" she said while putting both her hands on her belly

"We're having a baby?" even his eyes were smiling now through the tears

"We are having a baby" she couldn't hold back her excitement any longer

He grabbed and kissed her with all the love he had for her. He'd wanted to start a family with her from the first morning they woke up together, but he didn't know if it was too soon, so he never really touched the topic before.

But right now, everything seemed right, _everything finally made sense_.

He might have lost his parents, but he knew Lily and Gordon were watching this moment from Heaven, being so proud of the family their Harvey had built with the love of his life.


End file.
